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Scotchmen at Church

Joke Info
Category : Scotsman
Rating : 0.00
Contributor : dpwco
Type : T


A hellfire and brimstone preacher who was holding revival meetings in a large auditorium had all the seats wired up with electrical circuits connected to a concealed row of buttons on the pulpit. Each circuit was worth a certain amount of money; when it was time to collect the offering, as he mentioned each amount, he would press the corresponding button, sending an electrical shock to the seats wired for that amount.

So the first night at offering time, he said:

"Who all will give $10.00 to the work of the Lord ?"; he pressed the $10.00 button, and 100 people jumped up out of their seats.

Then he progressed up to the next amount:

"Who all will give $20.00 to the work of the Lord ?"'; he pressed the $20.00 button, and 100 people jumped up out of their seats.

He progressed up through all the amounts, each time pressing the appropriate button, each time groups of people jumped up out of their seats.

Finally, he got to the maximum amount:

"Who all will give $1,000.00 to the work of the Lord ?"; he pressed the $1,000.00 button, BUT NO ONE STOOD UP !! So he repeated the solicitation again, pressing the button again, still no one stood up. For the third time, he repeated the solicitation, mashing and holding down the $1,000.00 button for a while; .... still no one stood up.

That's strange, he thought; the ushers said I had a full house and every seat was taken, must be need fixing before tomorrow evening.

That night, as the janitors were cleaning up the auditorium, they found four dead scotchmen electrocuted in the back row.

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